Reverb
By: Spooks
~ ~ ~ ~
02 blinked his tear-soaked eyelashes in total, unadulterated shock. Caught in stunned silence, the simple utterance of his dead self's name echoed through his brain, bouncing off the crumbling walls of misguided control and filling in the gaps that pain had gnawed away. He stared at 01's clear, lucid expression. Those blue eyes were tightening at the edges, a glimpse of confusion and fear mixing together in their depths.
Suddenly very self-conscious, 02 tried to pull his thoughts together enough to formulate a suitable response. The very center of his existence was looking at him, had just spoken to him, the very least 02 could do is honor the boy with a response.
But before 02 could find his voice, 01 spoke again, his voice tired but steady. All confusion in his expression was replaced by a calculated hardness.
"You're not Duo."
Finally 02 had something he could respond to with a measure of surety. As though a switch had been flipped, the scientist was sitting straight up in his chair, a weird posturing of calm that contrasted with his disheveled appearance. Flat amethyst lasers burned into the firm blue glare of the boy on the bed.
02 spoke clearly, professionally. "You are correct, I am not Duo. I am 02."
Inwardly 02 grimaced at his harsh tone. Mannerisms hammered into his psyche after ten years of practice and iron determination rushed back and masked him safely, masterfully. 02 felt ashamed of his retreat. True strength would have been to deal with emotion in the face of duty, in the face of this pain. He understood that now.
"02? Are you a clone of Duo, then? I assume that your mission does not involve terminating me, otherwise I would already be dead," 01 clipped out, despite his obvious weariness. Already he was having to force his eyes to remain open.
"My mission was to save you," 02 avoided the first part of 01's query.
"How long have I been out? Did Wing destruct completely? Are the colonies safe, or did Une strike after I detonated?" 01 asked, his voice strained as his soldier's instincts demanded to know the details on the resolution of his mission.
"You've been fading in and out of conscious for approximately one week. Yes, Wing detonated successfully, and the colonies are relatively safe for the moment, at least from being blown out of space," 02 answered succinctly. His shoulders bunched tightly, trembling in tense knots under the fabric of his loose shirt.
"Good. I will require briefing on your identity when I wake up," 01 muttered, his face going slack as he dropped off into a natural sleep.
02 stared down at the boy, his emotions warring against each other in the arena of his mind. 01 had no brain damage; his reasoning and mental processes were still intact. Mission complete. The future would have a fighting chance now that 01 was insured to survive. But 02 felt no elation at his victory.
When it came right down to it, 02 knew he had just acted the part of a coward, and that shame tainted any feeling of satisfaction from successfully carrying out his mission. Unable to fall back and simply let 01 believe that he was Duo, 02 had hidden behind a cold wall of feigned control and professionalism. The resurgence of his emotions was one thing, but embracing and acting on them was an entirely different prospect. It would mean accepting his old identity, not only to himself, but to the world. The world, as far as 02 was concerned at the moment, was 01. Shame welled up within the scientist's newly beating heart, but he knew that just by letting himself feel the shame that he was making progress. Maybe, in the nine days and few hours of existence he had left, he could resolve that shame.
He shook himself and stood up, suddenly aware of the drying coolness of his tears on the edge of his shirt collar. Using that as an excuse, he left the room and changed clothing. After a spell of wandering around the house, 02 found himself back at 01's bedside, once again watching the boy sleep. Time passed as though it were only an illusion. Maybe it was.
02 realized he was smiling.
Taking a deep breath, 02 pulled the small band from his short ponytail and tousled his hair lightly. His fingers traced over the puckered bald patches and old scars that lay at the base of his skull; the damage was usually out of sight and out of mind underneath the short tail of hair.
02 winced. He took another deep breath and relaxed, dropping his hands to his lap where they proceeded to twist absently with the hairband. Sighing, 02 let the small elastic fall to the floor as he rose to his feet, deciding to make something for lunch. A small noise from 01 stopped him cold in his tracks.
The boy-soldier's eyelids were twitching as he experienced REM sleep. It was obvious from the muted cries and painful twitching of the boy's body that the dream was not pleasant. A wave of strange nostalgia rolled over 02, almost rocking the man off of his feet. That night, the one ten years ago, his younger self had witnessed the same thing. Evidently 01 had frequent nightmares during that period of his life. Before, in that time, little Maxwell had gathered the other boy up into his arms and rocked him until the dream ended.
And just as he had done so long ago, 02 found himself climbing onto the narrow bed and pulling that small body carefully into his now much larger arms. Mindful of the boy's delicate condition and multiple injuries, the scientist held the trembling bundle of warmth close. Almost immediately the silent cries stopped and the twitching ceased. For a few more long moments 02 lay there, letting the golden sunlight streaming through the window warm his back and the soldier snuggle comfortably against his front.
02 felt peace for the first time in years, but he knew that he had to move. 01 was not his to hold, and if the boy woke up now 02 didn't know how either of them would react. So with a heart full of fervently acknowledged sadness he eased 01 out from the circle of his arms and stood up, careful to make sure that the mattress didn't bounce.
As the man left the room to prepare some food, one dark blue eye slid open slowly, then drooped shut again as the boy drifted back off to sleep.
~ ~ ~ ~
To both 02's disappointment and relief, 01 did not rouse for the rest of the day. Lunch and dinner were both eaten while watching over the sleeping boy, and after a lengthy shower 02 found himself faced with a dilemma. Now that 01 was resting normally, that is, not under the influence of sedatives, he had been having brief bouts with those restless dreams. 02 knew, rationally, 01 would not injure himself further by his nightmare-induced thrashing, but the possible emotional wear might be a detriment to his healing. At least, that's what 02 kept telling himself as he set up a pallet on the floor by 01's bed.
Besides, if 01 woke up and really did think 02 was a threat, then the scientist wanted to be able to hear the boy getting up to try and kill him. By staying in the same room, 02 would surely hear the unavoidable squeal of the mattress springs as 01 moved.
02 knew that he was just making excuses to be near the sleeping boy, and while he acknowledged this deterioration of rationale, he was beginning not to care about it. Time was reasserting itself, a thousand tiny ripples had already erased his history, and with it, changed him in the process. As 02 lay back, he considered his mental changes from a new angle.
Because of his trip backwards, he would cease to exist in approximately eight and a half days. Something he hadn't considered was being influenced by the ripples through time, through his past that could now no longer exist. It was as though the ripple effect was trying to catch up with him even through the backward rip in the continuum. Destiny, perhaps, had followed him.
Shifting a bit on the thin layer of blankets under his back and checking the handgun he had tucked under the edge of his cover, 02 let his mind wander in this new direction. It seemed, that if destiny truly did exist, then his was irrefutably tied in with 01's. From that first meeting ten years ago, to the time spent escaping from the Alliance hospital, to attending the same cover school, all the way to the horrible ordeal that had made 02 let his human side crawl into a corner and attempt to die, 01 was always involved. And here, now, after ten years of preparation to save this boy, because of him 02 would cease to exist all together. Him, chasing death, how ironic.
Letting his eyes fall shut, 02 felt an involuntary, foreign little smile curl his lips.
It had been worth it.
~ ~ ~ ~
The next morning 02 woke with a gun barrel pressed firmly to his forehead.
He blinked rapidly and fought the involuntary watering of his eyes from the harsh pressure, then, with an almost imperceptible snarl 02 reacted in a fast efficient movement, snatching the gun away and leaping to his feet. Disbelief was his first reaction as he came to his senses. He had let down his guard! He! 02! It was mind-boggling that his sleeping pattern could have changed so drastically in less than a few days. How 01 had managed to wriggle 02's own weapon out from under his blankets and brought to bear was beyond 02 as he struggled to catch up with the thoughts assaulting him.
The next thing 02 felt was embarrassment. In bolting up and grabbing the firearm, he had failed to notice that he had knocked his attacker, 01, right off the bed. Quickly tossing the weapon across the room and effectively out of reach, 02 eased forward carefully, curling an arm around the fallen boy's shoulders. In one strong movement he had the soldier lying safely on the bed.
"You shouldn't have done that. You could have injured yourself further," 02 clipped sharply, his voice echoing ice before he could stop himself.
01 grunted angrily and glared up at 02, his eyes pinching slightly with pain.
"Well, what?" 02 asked, forcing himself to drop his guard and speak in a less angry tone. It sounded so easy in theory to let his emotions back into his life, but in practice it was much more difficult.
"What do you mean, 'What?'" 01 finally asked after staring up at 02 for a second, his words coming between short gasps as he tried to catch his breath. The boy's injures were no doubt throbbing from the effort of standing a few minutes ago, never mind the graceless tumble to the floor.
"You must have had a reason for waking me up with a gun pressed to my forehead. What did you want, information, or to simply kill me?" 02 sighed exasperatedly, letting an edge of sarcasm creep into his voice. "You did have a reason, correct? Strange, I don't remember you acting without reason, 01."
"I have many questions. First of all, where am I and how did I get here after I detonated?" 01 asked after a brief moment of consideration.
"You're in a safe house. As for how you got here, that's a bit of a story," 02 replied.
"So, tell me," 01 grunted as he tried to prop himself up on his elbows. 02 quickly leaned down and helped him, stuffing a pillow under 01's shoulders. Privately the scientist wondered how 01 had enough energy to sneak the gun in the first place; the boy was still very weak from his injuries, and probably malnourishment as well.
Reminded that 01 hadn't really consumed anything other than the occasional force fed gulps of water in his sleep, 02 shook his head. "I'm going to get you food. Then we can talk."
Anger blazed weakly in 01's eyes. "No, tell me now. Who the hell are you, anyway?"
"In a minute," 02 promised, turning on his heel and leaving the room before 01 could respond.
A few minutes later he returned with high protein liquids and a small bowl of very light broth. After 01 had consumed all he could, or would, he was glared up at 02 again.
"Now."
So 02 began, rattling off his story as though he were a playback machine, starting with an overview of what had happened in his history all the way up to leaving his time and coming back. Then he gave the condensed, purely clinical account of what had happened during the mission, all that he had done and even the deadline. After his long speech, 02 merely sat there, waiting for little 01's reaction.
"That's quite a lot of information to process at one time," 01 finally said quietly, his eyes wide as he stared blankly at the scientist. "But there's things that you are leaving out, such as why you don't go by Duo anymore, or anything at all that one wouldn't find in a history book. All you have given me is cut and dry facts. What broke the old you?"
"You don't want to know," 02 replied darkly.
"I can wait, but you can't, Duo," 01 shot back, his eyelids showing signs of drooping closed. "Besides, what does it matter? I'll forget in a week anyway."
Shock hit 02 like a shot. He had only vaguely alluded to the ramifications his travel backwards would have on the time stream. He felt a swell of pride at 01's sharp mind. Nevertheless, "Don't call me by that name."
"Fair enough, but only if you start calling me Heero," 01 replied, a sarcastic smirk fading quickly from his tired face as his voice dropped down to a whisper. "By the way, thanks for yesterday."
"Yesterday?" the scientist echoed, unsure to what Heero was referring.
"With my nightmare..." Heero replied as he let sleep take him, thus completely missing the intensely distraught look on 02's face.
The rest of the day passed in silence.
~ ~ ~ ~
The next morning 02 woke to the sight of Heero staring over the edge of the bed at him. The injured soldier had rolled onto his side and was craning his neck so that just his eyes cleared the edge of the mattress. His expression was inscrutable as he watched 02 sit up carefully, a wave of dizziness hitting the scientist as he climbed to his feet.
"How long are you going to be around again?" Heero asked as he watched 02 steady himself by leaning against the wall by the headboard.
"Approximately eight days," 02 replied quickly. "Breakfast?"
01 grunted an affirmative and settled down into his nest of covers, his laser sharp gaze scrutinizing every movement 02 made until he was out the doorway and out of sight. When he returned, Heero was trying to stand up, a frustrated look on his face as he grimaced and plopped back down on the bed.
"How did you manage to get the gun yesterday morning?" 02 asked as he set the plates down on the side table.
"I think it was an unpredictable combination of the lingering drugs and the rush of adrenaline I experienced after I saw you lying there. I saw opportunity. You appeared to be sleeping deeply, so I acted and took the gun. I figured it was my own chance to either question you or to kill you," Heero mumbled as he leaned back against the headboard.
"I don't know whether to be alarmed or flattered," 02 muttered dryly, surprising himself with the response.
A few minutes passed as 02 assisted Heero and as the two ate. Finally, 02 cleared his throat and set down his empty plate. "So, do you have any other questions now that you've had time to consider everything I've told you?"
Heero nodded ever so slightly. "A few things, yes. For starters, do you know why no one in your timeline opposed Oz? I know that events escalated quickly, and that now, as in the present, the public is largely apathetic, but I find it hard to believe that only the Gundams and associated personnel were involved in the war effort."
02 considered for a moment. "Well, actually, there were a few pocket groups. For instance, the Barton family, after Khushrenada's assassination, tried to put his previously unaccounted for daughter in the seat of power. They staged a coup, but Romefeller had agents placed within the Barton family's most trusted associates. Of course, these events were arbitrary to the common people, it would have just been one tyrant traded for a slightly different one."
"During the conflict itself, there was a small pacifist group lead by that Dorlain girl, Relena," 02 added, as an afterthought.
"Relena? What?" Heero asked, pure shock edging his voice.
"Oh yes, it turned out that she was only adopted by the Dorlain family. She was actually a Peacecraft, the only one in her entire family still alive. As you know, her adopted father, the Vice Minister, was assassinated. A few weeks after your death it came out that Zechs Marquise was her biological brother. He was, of course, dead by this time. Relena attempted to mobilize the faltering Sank Kingdom to oppose all military actions on both sides, but she just didn't have the strength to carry out her plans. She and her movement disappeared after a few months," 02 elaborated. "Actually, before we decided on saving you, we briefly considered what we could do to help her, but we quickly abandoned that idea."
"Why?"
"Well, does the Relena you know strike you as the type to head a nation?" 02 asked promptly in return.
"I don't know. Possibly. She's stubborn, and naïve at times," Heero frowned. "But I can't imagine her giving up on a cause."
02 nodded. "From my memories of her, from before, I came to the same conclusions. Then I remembered how she seemed to almost leech strength off of you. Weird girl, maybe she just needed someone to lean on, if only from afar."
Raising one eyebrow, Heero looked slightly nervous. "And here I thought it was a misguided, slightly suicidal crush."
"That too," 02 replied, the quip out of his mouth before he could stop himself.
Heero laughed quietly for a moment, then smirked. "For a second there you looked just like Duo."
The world came to a grinding halt.
Instantly 02's tiny melancholy grin straightened into a hard line, his eyes losing any semblance of softness as blue-tinged-purple tinted darkly and sharpened into twin lasers. Heero blinked and physically recoiled, an involuntary reaction to the sudden change in the posture and attitude of the scientist.
"What killed him? Why did he become you?" Heero whispered, his voice thick.
"Something terrible," 02 replied, his voice strained as he grit out the words from behind clenched teeth.
"Then how come you've changed in the last couple of days? You're hot and cold, personable then abrupt. I can see him in you, fighting to get out," the soldier spoke in careful but firm tones, determination and the slightest edges of compassion coloring his voice.
"I've changed because time has changed. The ripple followed me, even though it shouldn't have been able to," 02 answered, taking the out that the boy had given him.
"Care to elaborate on that?" Heero prodded.
"Time travel into the past creates a change in the time stream. Let's say I, the traveler, am a clump of mud. You throw me into a lake, time, and I'll cause a lot of ripples. The ripples I create may be small, but they reach the farthest shores of time, splashing and affecting all the creatures that live within the lake. Before long, though, I, the mud-rock, sink to the bottom, on the way down losing bits and pieces of myself to the water around me. Soon I dissolve completely, becoming part of the lake, leaving no evidence other than the things I changed by being thrown in the first place," 02 explained.
"So you're changing as a result of your time travel?" Heero assessed.
"Yes. I am changing because what happened to me, and my timeline has now been averted, or at least altered. By coming back I erased the path that I took to get here, and that's why I will cease to exist," the scientist nodded.
"Interesting," the Japanese soldier replied, carefully rubbing his forehead with the back of his arm not completely swaddled in bandages.
"Now, if you'll excuse me, you need to get more rest," 02 suddenly said as he stood up and gathered their breakfast plates. For a moment he felt dizzy, as though he were about to lose his balance.
"I have other questions," Heero protested mildly, even as he felt his wounds throb tiredly.
"Later," 02 put off, lowering his head slightly as he left the room.
As soon as he had left the boy's room, 02 leaned heavily on the wall and sank to the ground with a dull thud. Carefully he set the dishes he had been carrying down, then hunched over and hugged his knees. The world was spinning slightly and he suddenly felt weak. A few minutes of quietly labored breathing later and he felt relatively normal. With some effort he climbed to his feet again, then took the dishes to the tiny kitchen and washed them. Afterwards, however, 02 was forced to sit down again, but thankfully this wave of dizziness wasn't as severe.
What was happening to him?
What now?
~ ~ ~ ~